Today I want to update you on how I'm doing with my process of grief surrounding my mother's death and how it has effected my body and mind. This is deeply personal to me, but I think whether you are dealing with the death of a loved one, a divorce, financial burdens or even raising children (especially teenagers), stress can manifest real symptoms in your body.
As I described in my earlier September blogs, the first week after my mom died, I ate everything that wasn't nailed down. On a subconscious level I understood, I was trying to fill a hole with food, but at the time, I didn't really care. I am the youngest from a big family and was very close to my mother, seeing her as my friend, confident, and mentor. I felt lost.
The second week, I tried to shake off my haze and get back to a more normal routine of workout and clean eating. My body felt exhausted ( emotionally and physically) and I felt like I'd been off my normal routine for 6 weeks, not 1.
Week 3 was a bit better, but the scale reflected my food binge, and now my back went out ( shocking right?) Emotionally, I was still a wreck periodically. My self esteem was chipped. Feeling like a beached whale didn't' help.
I'm at the beginning of week 4 and slowly walking back up that mountain. I have faith in the process. Faith that my lifelong choices to eat clean and workout regularly will prevail. Emotionally, it's baby steps as well. But, as my beloved mother always said, even after 4 years of chemo and 10 rounds of radiation, "This To Shall Pass!"
Workout :
Recumbent Bike- 30 minutes
Strength train- chest /shoulder
Push up on big ball
Flat bench dumbbell press- 29lb on metal bar
Pilaties magic circle
Standing shoulder raise- 8lb
Incline bench dumbbell flye- 15 lb
Push ups
Food Diary:
Breakfast-
apple(67 cal)
Protein powder(90 cal)
1/2 mango, 1/2 cup blueberries(110 cal)
A.M. Snack-
1 apple (67 cal)
10 almonds (75 cal)
Lunch-
2 3/4 oz. Tuna steak(140 cal)
Salad- 2 cups romaine, 4 cherry tomatoes,1/8 cup frozen edamame(70 cal.)
P.M. Snack-
Apple- small ( 50 cal)
Homemade air popcorn (90 cal)
Dinner-
5 oz Prime rib(375 cal)
Mixed veggies(30 cal)
1/2 cup mixed rice ( 120 cal)
small salad( 45 cal )
TOTAL CALORIES-1327